Wow, Gail. You always challenge me with such deep questions. I don't always have time to respond, but be assured you get me thinking! Here's a quote from the psychologist Victor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” I believe stimulus elicits emotion, which then determines response, even if that response is to pause and reflect. After reflection, our emotions can change. So, I believe feelings and response both matter. And, here's something you and I may both relate to: if your pattern is to reflect on uncomfortable feelings until you are able to generate more comfortable feelings, are you doing yourself a disservice?
This has just taken on a deeper shade of meaning for me Karen. I am reflecting on circumstances where and how I can be clearer in my thoughts and feelings with others.....simple versus complicated. I have seen this in action (my dad’s lady friend calling my dad out on poor behavior springs to mind) and it is quite effective. So many layers to the onion! :)
I appreciate the Frankl quote. As an ice breaker, The Creative Workshop I'm participating in asked us to list a book that's influenced us. I chose Man's Search for Meaning. I've thought about your question a lot. The only way I can see reflection and changed feelings as a disservice is when one might allow another to repeatedly take advantage--relationships that are one sided without give and take. For example--with Matt's doctors--if they were not thorough and compassionate with your family, I would not expect you to put up with that by turning your frown upside down. I'd hope you'd have the strength to ask the questions needed and move on if unsatisfied.
Gail! I can't believe how long you have been here! So cool! and now I know your name and I hope to catch up with you a bit. I'd say our feelings matter but not to the extent that they are about setting out to change someone else or disrespect their "feelings" or choices. That's between them and God, even if we disagree. Also, what a gift to pray for others whose convictions might be leading them down a negative path, because we often see worldly confusion over conviction.
The sad thing is, I did not move on from Matt's doctors. Whatever I felt, I kept an agreeable face. And maybe if I had told the pediatrician, "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING," not only would my experience have changed, but maybe she would have listened better to other parents. That's what I mean by doing a disservice by not honoring my negative feelings.
Wow, Gail. You always challenge me with such deep questions. I don't always have time to respond, but be assured you get me thinking! Here's a quote from the psychologist Victor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” I believe stimulus elicits emotion, which then determines response, even if that response is to pause and reflect. After reflection, our emotions can change. So, I believe feelings and response both matter. And, here's something you and I may both relate to: if your pattern is to reflect on uncomfortable feelings until you are able to generate more comfortable feelings, are you doing yourself a disservice?
This has just taken on a deeper shade of meaning for me Karen. I am reflecting on circumstances where and how I can be clearer in my thoughts and feelings with others.....simple versus complicated. I have seen this in action (my dad’s lady friend calling my dad out on poor behavior springs to mind) and it is quite effective. So many layers to the onion! :)
I appreciate the Frankl quote. As an ice breaker, The Creative Workshop I'm participating in asked us to list a book that's influenced us. I chose Man's Search for Meaning. I've thought about your question a lot. The only way I can see reflection and changed feelings as a disservice is when one might allow another to repeatedly take advantage--relationships that are one sided without give and take. For example--with Matt's doctors--if they were not thorough and compassionate with your family, I would not expect you to put up with that by turning your frown upside down. I'd hope you'd have the strength to ask the questions needed and move on if unsatisfied.
What's your perspective?
Gail! I can't believe how long you have been here! So cool! and now I know your name and I hope to catch up with you a bit. I'd say our feelings matter but not to the extent that they are about setting out to change someone else or disrespect their "feelings" or choices. That's between them and God, even if we disagree. Also, what a gift to pray for others whose convictions might be leading them down a negative path, because we often see worldly confusion over conviction.
Somewhere I saw a quote… apologies that I do not know who said it: It took me two years to learn how to talk and 60 to learn how to stay quiet. 🤭
Me too. That's pretty perfect how you said it 🙌🏻
Me too. That's pretty perfect how you said it 🙌🏻
The sad thing is, I did not move on from Matt's doctors. Whatever I felt, I kept an agreeable face. And maybe if I had told the pediatrician, "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING," not only would my experience have changed, but maybe she would have listened better to other parents. That's what I mean by doing a disservice by not honoring my negative feelings.
Until very recently, I would probably not moved on from Matt's doctors either. Or asked questions. Of course the doctor knows more than little old me.
Questioning or leaving would not have been nice? Right?
I agree. Such behavior is a disservice. 100%
We both have grown so much. And writing has been a big part of it, wouldn't you say?
Yes! Writing and connecting. Repeat, repeat, repeat!