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Gary Spangler's avatar

You seem to have tapped into a well of experience and knowledge today! Your comment with Robert about your son being a life learning opportunity resonated with me as well. As a soccer dad, when my son was an early teenager, I struggled at first to navigate his preference for a radio station on our way to or from practice. My own childhood verged on WWIII over my tastes in music. Newly bought 45s (who remembers them?) sometimes landed in the coal furnace... I decided to not re-enact my childhood with my son. Suspending my own judgment about his choices, I proposed that we take turns selecting a station. So I demonstrated some acceptance that his choices were not deal breakers. And he had a chance to listen to classic rock and classical music. Yeah, really. My tastes vary somewhat. Suspending judgment helped me be more accepting of my son. Respecting his tastes brought us closer together. Surprise!!

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Robert Boyle's avatar

Hi Gail!

"I’d tease

or point out the negatives

attempting to keep them in a box

because if they became somebody new"

It was magical to read this this morning. I'm going to think about why that is...but this writing really hit me.

Especially the above passage.

What it makes me think about is transferring fear as if it were advice. And trying to exist in a space of caring and concern while nurturing growth.

Then I had a tinge of awareness that I may have used this trait to the disadvantage of others. And maybe I even seek out what you describe as lonely ...

Powerful and insightful for me Gail... wow!

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