Hi BFN family, I know… it’s been a while. Hi! Hello! Hi! Some of you have been hanging out with the muses at 3musesmerge where Cal, Tal, Nia, and Typist show up with their almost daily banter. Two newsletters is more than I can keep up with! I’m really glad that I have not discarded Born Free Newsletter in one of my cleaning frenzies! There’s something I’m called to write and share today that doesn’t fit the mood I imagine and create on 3mm.
It's a big question, Gail--"What am I worth in dollars and cents?" Sadly, our insurance system determines that those with coverage are worth much more than those without. I think it's a good thing we aren't asked the unanswerable question--we'd make ourselves sick trying to come up with a number.
Yes... It's a very good thing that we are not asked to attach monetary equivalents to the value of a life. 👍
One of my #cancergifts is that I was challenged to question my beliefs about healthcare. Prior to my diagnosis... I was negative and lacked trust. I perceived the systems of healthcare and insurance to be heartless, money making machines.
Then... I needed their help. Oops!
Early on I decided that instead of being guided by fear and mistrust, I would choose love. I might not be able to change my cancer diagnosis, or the system I was (willingly) enveloped by, but I had agency in how I showed up. I learned that the systems are made up of people... doctors, nurses, technicians, and statasticians who treat me with kindness and respect when I lead with kindness and respect.
I found the magical math of 1+1 being greater than 2 more times than not, and I'm grateful to have been challenged to look beyond my pre-conceived notions.
I cannot speak from the perspective of an uninsured person, though I do know someone who was treated for a condition very much like mine at the same healthcare facility. Her treatment was actually more extensive. She does not have commercial insurance, so her care is covered by the state of Wisconsin healthcare safety net insurance. Does your state have something similar?
I appreciate this from Gary's comment: "At some level well above my pay grade [all of this] "comes out in the wash."
Thank you for reading and responding. Your thoughts and perspectives help me to think and grow. 😊
First I had to rub my eyes! Is this THE Bornfree Newsletter I grew to love ever so long ago? Then you OPENED my eyes. Not just so I could read today’s new BFN post. Not just around Gratitude Day.
You shared your experience seeing the cost of your care. Know what? That’s strikingly similar to my reaction when I read the final summary of costs for my back surgery! My Medicare insurance plan is big on “in network providers,” which the accessible Mayo Clinic was not.
I chose that route after finding no local providers that had a clue. I was desperate to find someone who could even explain my problem (diagnosis) much less present a treatment option. When both were presented in a 45 minute encounter I signed on for their care. My wife and I were confident we could afford their care. Faith?
With the final bill I learned that because
Mayo had agreed to provide treatment, they had also agreed to measly amounts that Medicare paid for that care. Which was less than one one hundredth of the tabulated cost of care.
Taking a victory lap was never a feeling I entertained. As with you, I felt ashamed. Like if I had known my cost outcome, I would have been too embarrassed to receive treatment. I felt embarrassed to return for follow up care. I felt unworthy. At some level well above my pay grade that must all “come out in the wash.”
Your sharing today of your experience serves as an invitation to revisit my reactions. To reframe through the lens of gratitude.
As always, ever grateful. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
hahaha! I knew I had to "write this out" and what better home than BFN?
Thank you for sharing your story and experience. I wonder how many of us, if we know the cost of our care in advance, might have said, "No thank you. I'll be fine." 🤷🏻♀️ Glad to hear I'm not alone in my reactive feelings of embarrassment and shame.
I very much appreciate the suggestion that somewhere above us, all is made to "come out in the wash."
I haven't been keeping up with my personal email lately, but I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I had a few minutes to kill at the end of lunch and actually got on just now specifically to look through my 21,000 or so unread emails for something from you. And here you are. You are ABSOLUTELY worth more than that amount. You are priceless.
I’m doing great! With the help of my medical providers, ‘c the invader’ has been vanquished! I still have radiation ahead as a recurrence prevention method. That will wrap up before trick-or-treat. It feels amazing to have faced one of my greatest fears and survived without losing my spirit.
OMGOODNESS… That’s a full mailbox. Can you just “delete all” and begin again?
Thank you for seeing value in me! And for telling me!
I am grateful to c for giving me another opportunity to reflect on my relationship with money… and my sense of self worth.
Hope you are well… and that the school year is off to a great start!
Sep 22, 2022·edited Sep 22, 2022Liked by 3musesmerge
vulnerable post, thank you!
Insurance has facilitated the cost of healing to skyrocket. I would like to see it outlawed. The insurance companies get rich off of the suffering of people. That just isn't right.
I remember reading something a long time ago about a culture that paid doctors to keep you well, not to fix you when you got sick. At the time I thought it seemed to be a good idea. Now I’m not so sure.
My experience with c has caused me to ask: How much of my health is in my control? Some, no doubt. I can eat “healthy” and exercise but even in my short span of living, opinions and advice about what is healthy has shifted and swayed. 🤷♀️ Then there’s genetics, environment … and accidents,
I’m grateful that I’ve had an opportunity to grow my perspective.
A question I’ve been asking myself is: Did this problem originally start as a solution? I’m wondering if that’s the case with insurance.
There's so much wisdom in what you've said, Gail. When we can't change the system (at least not at that moment), what we can do is move through it with dignity and respect. Like you did. Like you do.
What I take from Gary's comment is that All the kindnesses we share in the world do not go unnoticed, even when, at the time, it feels that way.
I don't know if NY state has healthcare safety net insurance, but I love that Wisconsin does.
Do you know what’s interesting… I did talk to two practitioners of Chinese medicine in my early c days. Prior to my diagnosis, I always thought if I experienced a major health hurdle, I’d take an east meets west approach. Then when it actually happened, I recognized (for reasons I can’t clearly state, because they are not clear to me) that Western medicine was going to be my approach and that would be enough. Grateful that it has been!
It's a big question, Gail--"What am I worth in dollars and cents?" Sadly, our insurance system determines that those with coverage are worth much more than those without. I think it's a good thing we aren't asked the unanswerable question--we'd make ourselves sick trying to come up with a number.
Yes... It's a very good thing that we are not asked to attach monetary equivalents to the value of a life. 👍
One of my #cancergifts is that I was challenged to question my beliefs about healthcare. Prior to my diagnosis... I was negative and lacked trust. I perceived the systems of healthcare and insurance to be heartless, money making machines.
Then... I needed their help. Oops!
Early on I decided that instead of being guided by fear and mistrust, I would choose love. I might not be able to change my cancer diagnosis, or the system I was (willingly) enveloped by, but I had agency in how I showed up. I learned that the systems are made up of people... doctors, nurses, technicians, and statasticians who treat me with kindness and respect when I lead with kindness and respect.
I found the magical math of 1+1 being greater than 2 more times than not, and I'm grateful to have been challenged to look beyond my pre-conceived notions.
I cannot speak from the perspective of an uninsured person, though I do know someone who was treated for a condition very much like mine at the same healthcare facility. Her treatment was actually more extensive. She does not have commercial insurance, so her care is covered by the state of Wisconsin healthcare safety net insurance. Does your state have something similar?
I appreciate this from Gary's comment: "At some level well above my pay grade [all of this] "comes out in the wash."
Thank you for reading and responding. Your thoughts and perspectives help me to think and grow. 😊
First I had to rub my eyes! Is this THE Bornfree Newsletter I grew to love ever so long ago? Then you OPENED my eyes. Not just so I could read today’s new BFN post. Not just around Gratitude Day.
You shared your experience seeing the cost of your care. Know what? That’s strikingly similar to my reaction when I read the final summary of costs for my back surgery! My Medicare insurance plan is big on “in network providers,” which the accessible Mayo Clinic was not.
I chose that route after finding no local providers that had a clue. I was desperate to find someone who could even explain my problem (diagnosis) much less present a treatment option. When both were presented in a 45 minute encounter I signed on for their care. My wife and I were confident we could afford their care. Faith?
With the final bill I learned that because
Mayo had agreed to provide treatment, they had also agreed to measly amounts that Medicare paid for that care. Which was less than one one hundredth of the tabulated cost of care.
Taking a victory lap was never a feeling I entertained. As with you, I felt ashamed. Like if I had known my cost outcome, I would have been too embarrassed to receive treatment. I felt embarrassed to return for follow up care. I felt unworthy. At some level well above my pay grade that must all “come out in the wash.”
Your sharing today of your experience serves as an invitation to revisit my reactions. To reframe through the lens of gratitude.
As always, ever grateful. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
hahaha! I knew I had to "write this out" and what better home than BFN?
Thank you for sharing your story and experience. I wonder how many of us, if we know the cost of our care in advance, might have said, "No thank you. I'll be fine." 🤷🏻♀️ Glad to hear I'm not alone in my reactive feelings of embarrassment and shame.
I very much appreciate the suggestion that somewhere above us, all is made to "come out in the wash."
I haven't been keeping up with my personal email lately, but I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I had a few minutes to kill at the end of lunch and actually got on just now specifically to look through my 21,000 or so unread emails for something from you. And here you are. You are ABSOLUTELY worth more than that amount. You are priceless.
Randomly Me!!! Hi!
I’m doing great! With the help of my medical providers, ‘c the invader’ has been vanquished! I still have radiation ahead as a recurrence prevention method. That will wrap up before trick-or-treat. It feels amazing to have faced one of my greatest fears and survived without losing my spirit.
OMGOODNESS… That’s a full mailbox. Can you just “delete all” and begin again?
Thank you for seeing value in me! And for telling me!
I am grateful to c for giving me another opportunity to reflect on my relationship with money… and my sense of self worth.
Hope you are well… and that the school year is off to a great start!
♥️💚💜
vulnerable post, thank you!
Insurance has facilitated the cost of healing to skyrocket. I would like to see it outlawed. The insurance companies get rich off of the suffering of people. That just isn't right.
You’re welcome!
I remember reading something a long time ago about a culture that paid doctors to keep you well, not to fix you when you got sick. At the time I thought it seemed to be a good idea. Now I’m not so sure.
My experience with c has caused me to ask: How much of my health is in my control? Some, no doubt. I can eat “healthy” and exercise but even in my short span of living, opinions and advice about what is healthy has shifted and swayed. 🤷♀️ Then there’s genetics, environment … and accidents,
I’m grateful that I’ve had an opportunity to grow my perspective.
A question I’ve been asking myself is: Did this problem originally start as a solution? I’m wondering if that’s the case with insurance.
There's so much wisdom in what you've said, Gail. When we can't change the system (at least not at that moment), what we can do is move through it with dignity and respect. Like you did. Like you do.
What I take from Gary's comment is that All the kindnesses we share in the world do not go unnoticed, even when, at the time, it feels that way.
I don't know if NY state has healthcare safety net insurance, but I love that Wisconsin does.
Love your interpretation of Gary’s comment!
Do you know what’s interesting… I did talk to two practitioners of Chinese medicine in my early c days. Prior to my diagnosis, I always thought if I experienced a major health hurdle, I’d take an east meets west approach. Then when it actually happened, I recognized (for reasons I can’t clearly state, because they are not clear to me) that Western medicine was going to be my approach and that would be enough. Grateful that it has been!