When confused

I call on faith

All shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. ~Julian of Norwich

My brain is trying to sort through some changes.

Last week I went to the eye doctor for a routine vision exam. I wasn’t surprised to learn that both my near and far vision have deteriorated slightly over the last 365 days.

“What are we going to try with you now?” asked the doctor.

I already wear multifocal lenses, forfeiting a smidge of clarity in distance so that I don’t need readers for the close stuff. The ophthalmologist and I experiment with different strengths in my right and left eyes to see if we can get them working together for the best possible vision.

After the Which looks clearer, 1 or 2? 2 or 3? 3 or 4? Tell me when this starts to get blurry, Dr. F spent a lot of time looking in my right eye with her pin light that seemed to harness the power of the sun. Then she started asking more questions…"Do you sleep in your contacts? Do you wear dailies for more than one day? Is your right eye bothering you?”

“No….no…Yes, but I thought it was just allergies…Is there a problem?”

“You have some pretty heavy inflammation in your right eye. Seven days, no contacts. I’ll prescribe some drops and re-check in a week.”

In over 25 years, I don’t think I’ve gone a full day without contacts. I find glasses uncomfortable, unsightly (on me), and a nuisance. That said, I do value my eyesight and followed the doctor’s directions to the letter.

Yesterday I was released!

Hello contacts—the inflammation is gone.

And this is where confused brain comes in. After a week of putting on and taking off distance focused glasses at whim, I’m now wearing a new contact prescription. My right eye sees far. My left eye sees close. I’ve been opening and closing one at a time to experiment. When I have both eyes open, my brain doesn’t know what to do with this new way of seeing.

There was a time when I would have let anxiety get the better of me in this situation. I would have projected a lifetime of headaches, typos (oh, I already do that), and missed stop signs.

My long cultivated lack of concern has everything to do with faith.

I believe my eyes and brain will adjust to their new conditions in time.

All shall be well and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

Do you have faith, too?