So yesterday, while sharing Henri’s reenactment of Humpty Dumpty’s rhyme, I asked …If you see it, you can fix it?
Seeing is my first step to freedom.
After Henrietta ran like the wind, ate her dinner, and acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, I was both relieved…and I’m embarrassed to admit…a little resentful.
What was I thinking? Why did I welcome a fragile new being into my heart? Is she going to break it?
As my mind ran one fake news headline after another (I’m a terrible predictor of future events), I was snappy with my family to the point that my son called me out on my grouchiness. Right then and there I apologized to both two legs and told them the story I’d been telling myself—Henrietta is a precious responsibility and I’m already messing up. What if I really blow it next time? (I do consciously realize her fall? leap? wasn’t my fault, it was an accident, but the mind monsters never really go away.)
If I don’t cross the rainbow bridge first, Henrietta’s loss will one day break my heart, leaving a hole like Elsa and Mara did before her.
Yes Gail, and you need to remember the good times heavily outweigh the bad.
Now, you have the now!
Self care is my second step to freedom.
I haven’t been to a yoga class since Henri came home. This morning on the living room carpet, my shoulder and knee joints popped like Rice Krispies meeting milk while I completed one simple sun salutation.
The minute my mind starts galloping like a wild horse, my body gets dragged along for the ride. My shoulders hunch as if they’re warding off an attack. My muscles tighten, ready for a fight.
All of this because of a cute black ball of lanky limbs, velvet-like fur, and piranha-like teeth.
Can you imagine the yoga shapes I’d need if something bad happened instead of the blessings of a pup? (Tomorrow morning I’ll be on my mat in the studio.)
I know yoga’s not for everyone…How do you free your body and mind? Run? Cycle? Knit? Paint? Fish? What’s your second step to freedom?
Letting go of control and asking “what can I do” instead of “why me” are my third step(s) to freedom.
Tethered, Henrietta and I are visiting all of the yard’s dangerous ledges. She’s beginning to understand. One day she’ll run free, knowing where to stop, and where to leap.
And there you have it…the rest of the story.