She didn’t — still doesn’t — know.
Are our stories written in the stars? Or, do we make them up as we go along.
Philosophers have argued both sides of the free will coin for centuries and it still remains a mystery.
What do you think?
Is a little mystery good for the soul?
She sobbed on that cold and snowy December morning.
Why?
Your guess is as good hers.
It might have been because she carried a plan to trick, trap, and transport the white, fluffy, cat she’d been feeding and befriending for weeks. She wanted to welcome the critter into her own family, but reason shook its head firmly from side-to-side. Introducing a feral cat into a home with a newborn ready to pop anytime seemed a poor choice.
Maybe her tears flowed because she had no idea how to be a good mother? Fear is a powerful emotion and Delivery-day was looming.
She was certain she’d prefer the child to stay inside her, where she could make sure it was fed and protected, but that’s not how reproduction works.
What she certainly was not aware of was that this child would cause her to change, shape shift, and question herself and her perspectives at many a turn.
Back to that sobbing… Maybe it was just hormones. That evening the woman went into labor. The child was as reluctant to leave as the mother was for him to go. At precisely 4:24 on December 18, the doctor sucked the clinging child from its mother’s womb and whisked him away for hours of observation. As she lay alone in her hospital bed, tears slid down her cheeks.
This was not what she’d expected.
The three year old held tight to his pole and cast again while his father packed up and began walking toward the car.
“I’m leaving,” he’d call on many a visit to the pond — a last ditch effort to get the angler in the car and on the way home. Wet hands on a spring day in Wisconsin can only be tolerated for so long — unless you’re three, and your star-script has fisherman written next to your name.
The child’s parents might have ignored the boy’s energy and his script, but love was stronger than their own small seeming wishes and comfort. As the lad grew, parents learned about reels, bait, and patterns — trailering a boat, operating navionics, and operating a trolling motor.
Feeding the child’s soul, fed theirs in return.
Sitting in a dimly lit room twenty one years later, the woman smiles.
The child was the greatest gift she ever received. As he transitioned from baby to toddler, then pre-schooler to teen… the woman caught glimpses of her own reflection every step of the way.
Are children mirrors?
One winter morn, somewhere between the child’s birth and him growing into a man, the woman walked through a glass door adorned with a lotus. She shared an unsatisfactory reflection with a wise teacher who said, “As you change yourself, you’ll see him change, too.”
What a revelation.
And what a job ahead! All the woman could do was start where she was — with the information and feelings she held.
Written in the stars?
Or, making it up as she goes along.
A mystery?
Just keep going…
Day by day, like the petals of a flower opening in slow-motion, nearly imperceptible shifts began compounding. Quiet, timid, and fearful began stealing trips into the light where… Can you guess what the woman started to find?
Lots of people were as afraid and closed as she used to be! There were all kinds of ways people dealt with their feelings of uncertainty. Some puffed themselves up with knowledge. Others emitted bluster as powerful as hurricane winds. Many hid in clusters of people who thought and acted just like them.
Not her. Not anymore…
Her receptiveness has grown like a birthday balloon into a blimp, giving her the freedom to be curious. She can learn from anyone!
She doesn’t have to know their life story, or agree with their politics, or even watch the same television shows. Nope… she simply looks for points of connection and builds relationships that transcend opinions.
What is small to the bear looms large to the mouse… truth.
And something else that’s true?
A metaphorical mouse can grow into a bear.
Try it?
(Baby helpful, but not required.)
And so, the lotus opened its beautiful blossom.