Chicken

Two
selections

I
debated

And
settled
on
safe

Have I mentioned that as part of The Creative’s Workshop I’ve had a hand in holding space for poets, musicians, cartoonists, and writers on Friday afternoons? Open Mic offers a place for makers to share and celebrate their creations.

As the workshop is coming to a close, yesterday’s event was our last hurrah. I intended to write a poem or story filled with gratitude, humor, and memories from the last three months. Well….you know what they say about the road to h-e-double toothpicks….

As I waited for my turn to share I endured an internal struggle.
Do I read a piece I wrote that *gasp!* calls equality into question?
Or, do I read a few pages from one of my all time favorite books—Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White?

I discovered the people pleaser within is still alive….strong willed as ever.

Where is the freedom in that?

This morning with aid from a Bring me the Rhinoceros koan, I was able to “see” how I’d shut the door on my bird cage.

From the book:

How much do you do for praise? How many things do you say just to make an impression on others? What are you really achieving when you try to make an impression? And how many accounts do you have to keep? If you didn’t do things for merit and advancement, or if you didn’t act with motives at all, what would life be like? At work? In bed? Alone in a room? Even alone in a room you can be consumed with wanting people to see you in a good light. Can you imagine how things would be without that kind of wanting?

I wasn’t seeking freedom.
I was seeking merit.

Did I ever mention how I found freedom on the golf course?
I stopped keeping my score.
I was merit seeking there, too.
Funny….my game improved when I stopped counting strokes.

Will these little lessons help the next time I have a choice between hiding and being seen?

We’ll see.

Would you experience life differently if you did not expect people and experience to please?