Cook
served
stew
bowl
spoon
mouth
On balance
there was
much to
appreciate
yet
if
she had another go
She’d
add
a pinch more
light-heartedness
more love
and
subtract
procrastination
perseveration
less fear
Men are greedy to publish the success of their efforts, but meanly shy as to publishing the failures of men. Men are ruined by this one sided practice of concealment of blunders and failures. ~Abraham Lincoln
“I can’t think of anything else Mom,” he said. On a beautiful May Sunday he sat inside and nervously fingered the string of his sweatshirt’s hood.
Later on our mock soccer field with Henrietta he said, “It’s all about the money. I can’t stop thinking about the money.”
“I understand,” I replied.
I deeply and truly understand.
How many hours and days have I wasted in my lifetime, circling and fretting?
When I was in sixth grade, I decided I’d become a flutist. My father rented an instrument for several months and then asked, “Are you committed? Shall I buy the flute?”
“Yes!” I replied. What sixth grade girl in 1979 wouldn’t want to own a shiny silver flute?
It took less than a month until I wanted to throw the flute out of the school bus window like my older sister once did with a pair of saddle shoes. (Can’t tell you how many times I heard that story!)
My history contains strong lessons around not quitting, and the importance of never wasting a dollar. To this day, when my Dad purchases something, the story always contains a reference to cost.
He learned this from his family, growing up during the Great Depression.
I learned it from him.
My son learned it from me.
Children learn what they live?
The kid signed up for a three week university summer summer course in accounting. Accounting 210
He’s never had an accounting course before. Last Tuesday when he got the syllabus he found he’d need to complete one full chapter per day from the text book with supporting PowerPoint presentations. Gulp!
He said nothing to his parents until Wednesday night when he recognized he might be in over his head.
Together we investigated dropping the course. Available online information is unclear. If you drop in the first week, you’ll receive a 100% refund.
What constitutes the first week? we wondered together.
I’ll spare you the discussion between mother and son. When I asked on Friday evening, “So you’ve decided to stick with the course? You haven’t said anything.”
“I’m going to fail it if I stay in. I didn’t want to quit, but I think I have to. It’s too much, too fast, without support.”
Friday night.
The online system gives an error when he tries to drop the course.
What constitutes a week?
He sends an email to his advisor.
He sends an email to registration.
He studies. Takes quizzes and the test.
What if they won’t let him out?
I watch him squirm and suffer.
I deeply and truly understand.
I recognize and grasp the opportunity to amend my stew. I talk about taking action and letting go. I explain that every bump brings potential learning. I tell him that I’m studying the art of enjoying the meal that’s in front of me right now, because I can’t change the past, or control the future.
And his thoughts circle the possibility that he’ll have to work an entire month to pay for a course he might fail.
If we handle this right….he might teach a different way to his children.
Presence
makes
all
the
difference.
Money - can't be at peace with it. Can't survive without it. I deeply and truly understand how complicated it is as a mom to learn, and then impart all its inherent lessons.
Being a Dad isn't easy either! I went back and re-read the story on how to make the bundles. I remember thinking the last time I read it that the lawn mower makes such quick work of them. It doesn't work though if you want blooms next year.